At the End of Ourselves

My sweet girls-

What I am learning right now is that so often the biggest growth happens at the end of myself. When I have nothing to give, nothing to share and feel that I really cannot go on. I laugh at the last two weeks of study and how I was very much at the end of myself. I did not come with preparations or high expectations as your fearless leader. I came with a desperate need for God to show up. A cry to Him in the depths of my heart "God, please please do what I can't. Please talk to these girls, love these girls because I can't right now." What you have seen these last two weeks is me at the end of myself. Sick, wanting to sleep because my sinus' felt like they were going to implode. Emotionally exhausted because I have a super woman complex and feel like I have to save it all. (God blew that one up by the way).  But I think you can agree that we have had some of the most intimate times with each other because of it. God moved. He came and reminded us of who He is and how He is our everything. Because we are at the end of ourselves we can see Him even more clearly.

Girls this week come to the end of yourself. Come to a place where He can move. Don't perform when You meet with Him in your quiet place. Let it be a time to share your heart as it is. Are you broken? Are you scared? Are you needing Him? Are you in a place of total awareness of the lies that you entertain on a daily basis? Can you see your need for truth? Share with Him everything you feel. Don't hold back. Come to the end of yourself so that He can move. When we white knuckle things and try to control and hold them together He can't work. Let go and let Him pick up the pieces of your heart. Let Him extend the hours of Your day and order Your footsteps so that it all fits in. Rest with Him so that you can be filled from within. Do not let the external dictate the things of your fragile heart.

When we tap into the quiet place within ourselves where He dwells we are able to hear Him and only Him. The wars of the world may wage around us, but when we are connected to the stillness inside that comes from His transcending peace the storm is calmed. Oh girls, may we live in this place. May the comments of others not wounds us. May the circumstances, relationships and selfish desires of our hearts not be what run our lives. Instead, may we insist that we dwell in that quiet place. This place is where we are when we are at the end of ourselves.