My Funk- It's the enemies Junk

Let me tell you girls how my week has been. Sigh... maybe you are in it too. Part of me thinks that the enemy just comes in and tries to steal things in the midst of this study because he knows that God is going to root up and ruin some of his schemes. I am in a funk. Yes, a funk. Ask me to define it and I can't really completely put it into words. All I know is it is the enemies junk to get me away from God and His plan for my life. To challenge me to eat from my own tree that I made and battle good and evil. Uh not good.

It goes a little something like this. I am discovering some of my faults. You know it reminds me of pouring peroxide on an open wound. It feels like a burning sensation in my heart. It is a love/hate relationship as I open up and am honest with myself as to what is going on. Girls, I am realizing more and more about how much I elevate other people, particularly men and then proceed to look to them for my identity. It is a problem. Maybe you relate. How can we really find ourselves in the male "counterpart" of ourselves? We can't. They are imperfect and struggling just as much as we are only in different ways. I take some comfort in the reality that I am not the only fallen creature. But then God proceeds to call me out on the reality that I idolize men or tear them apart. Yes ladies, I am a pendulum. Swinging back and forth between two unhealthy extremes. I am unable to really land in the middle. I try to blame my problem on my past and lack of experience with men that have a more realistic sense of reality, but the blame really falls on me. Yes, I have no experience with healthy relationships, but can I sit here and assume/sulk that they will all be the same? Can I really wall myself off into believing that I can truly worship from afar or loathe the male species because of the battle with sex addictions that so many of them fight? Can I honestly blame them all for the hand full that hurt me? No. I have decided the answer is no. God wants me to come back to reality and accept his hurting sons. He wants me to acknowledge the true enemy and hurt for his boys. Should I go out and trust them all? No. Should I bear my heart at first meet and greet? Absolutely not. But I really need to be open to friendship.

On the flip side, when I find an attractive and relatively safe man I cannot go and put the man before Him. God showed me that He is a jealous jealous God. He is not about to let a man, made of flesh and bones, be my idol. I said it. IDOL. Do you idolize something that God is trying to destroy because He is jealous of the time and attention you give it? God really nailed me on this one this past week. When I am in a funk I think, "if only I had a boy" then it would all be better. WRONG!!! In reality a boy makes it worse. No amount of attention or anything else will satisfy this girl. I am a needy little thing and God is the only one who can meet that need. I learned that the hard hard way. And am still learning.

So this week I was in a funk. A funk that came out with a need for relationship and community. I had the opportunity to share with a friend that hard place I was in and ask for prayer from others. Did I advertise it? No, and you may be upset if you weren't notified. I felt lead to handle it differently this time. God told me, do NOT rally the troops because you and I, sweet beloved Erin, have to work it out alone first before you process it with someone else. Gotta respect that one lovelies. Oh, I recommend listening to what God asks you to do when dealing with an issue. Our support system and prayer team is a MUST. But if God wants to keep you in a place of coming face to face with Him, do it.

Aside from that I am excited to see each of you on Tuesday. It has become my favorite day. You each are so special to me. If you missed last week or are abroad here are the answers the the fill-ins for last weeks study :) Post any thoughts that you have on here. I am waiting for someone to be brave. I am not the only one that can run my mouth, or uhhh keys. You know what I mean. Let this place be a place of self expression. :)

Session One: Listening Guide
Bricks are used to make a name for ourselves.
Bricks are man-made, but stones are God-made.
When you and I choose to label ourselves,  we limit  ourselves.
We were never designed to be brick-makers; we were designed to be living stones.
God desires that our lives be made up of spiritual sacrifice that is acceptable to Him.
God labels us as "living stones" with the words "I AM".
God says that we are His workmanship His valued daughters.

Hope that you girls are getting through the homework!!! Much love to you :)